durincest | (no subject)

[Traveling alone was much harder than Kili had anticipated.

He'd packed everything he'd needed in the dead of night, so perhaps a lot of the trouble was there. Things with Fili weren't...going well, and he just needed to go. Maybe some time apart would help, and Kili was anxious to prove himself anyway.

It takes longer than he'd expected to find Thorin. He'd known at least where his uncle was headed, having maybe listened in on a conversation Thorin had with Dis. But the first village he found was devoid of any familiar dwarves, though he did find someone who pointed him in the right direction.

By the time he staggers into the right town, he's tired and hungry and footsore. Men make him nervous, and he eyes them uneasily, one hand tight around his sword hilt as he wandered through the village.

It's luck that takes him past the forge, and his eyes seek out a familiar face, searching, until finally he catches sight of Thorin, beating hot metal into place.]

Thorin! [Heedless now of his blistered feet and exhaustion, a smile splits the young dwarf's face and he dashes to greet him.]

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[Kili laughs brightly at the gesture, the sound pure and joyful. He arches back against Thorin, not unlike a cat, and tilts his head back to beam up at his uncle.

Kili doesn't remember his father. He was so small when his father died defending their people. Thorin had stepped in to help raise the boys, and he's the only father that Kili has ever known. Not only does he love Thorin fiercely, but Kili admires him more than anyone else. Thorin is his hero.]

I wish you were home more, Uncle. I missed you.

[He will smile in turn, but there is a sadness to his eyes. One he tries to hide from Kili, but is always terrible at.]

I do not enjoy being away, but I have a responsibility to our people. To your brother and you. Your mother. I do this for all of us, Kili.

[But he does wish he could be home more often, there were times he'd left and come back and the boys had grown what seemed so much. Seventy plus years had gone by so quick and both boys were now nearing adulthood, though they would forever be just boys in his eyes.]

Thorin. [Kili hesitates a moment before continuing on.] Thorin, what if you didn't have to be king? What if we could just live in Ered Luin and be happy like we are?

[What if he didn't have to be king? What if he didn't have to reclaim Erebor one day for his people, for his father and grandfather. For Frerin.]

... are you happy in the mountains? You want for nothing?

[He does wish to know. Truly he wants Kili and Fili to be happy and to live a good life, but what he wants most is for the young princes to be where they truly should. A home they've never known. Great halls that he wishes they could have grown up in. Halls he wished he himself could have grown up in.]

[Kili shifts his position, tilting his head back to look at Thorin and give him a small smile.]

It's not easy living in the mountains, but I love it, Uncle. ...And I love the forests. [He's a little sheepish to admit it. Dwarves are supposed to like the rock more, but Kili just adores the woods.] I don't need anything more. Just you and Mum and Fili. And my bow.

[Kili and his brother are very much dwarves in the most base sense, but they are also of a new generation. One that has done more than just grow inside the mountain, they have lived and trained in the wilds as well, though they have seen little besides the woods outside their home. Still, he's pleased that Kili is happy, for that is all he's wanted for his nephews.

To give them a place to grow and live and be happy, even if Thorin himself can only think of Erebor. He'll hum, acknowledging Kili's words. Frerin had been much the same, he was adventurous, but very loyal to his family. More than once he'd gone out with sword and bow to the forests around Erebor and Dale, he loved hunting, loved exploring. He also had a strange affinity for climbing trees... strange dwarf his brother had been.]

You and that bow.

[He gives a tired huff, but isn't mad, amused more than anything. Kili had wanted to learn because he'd seen Frerin's bow that Thorin had kept, and the curious little dwarf of course wanted to know what it was. Wanted to see it and use it and well... now here they were and Kili was very proficient with a bow. Better than even Frerin had been.]

I am happy with both of you and your mother... you all make me proud.

[Kili watches his uncle quietly, watching those emotions pass over his face and wondering what exactly it is that Thorin's thinking. Lately he's seemed sort of... reminiscent? Longing? Kili's not sure. It's not a look he sees often on his uncle's face, and he's not sure what's brought it on.

He moves to kneel on the log, facing Thorin and resting his chin on his uncle's shoulder.]

You do us proud too, Thorin.

[It might be a little bold to say, but Kili means it.]

You know we all admire and look up to you. If I could be half the dwarf you are...I would be happy.

[Kili you make it so difficult lately not to reminisce, especially like this. It's like Frerin is right here with him now. How often had he confided in his brother, admitted how weak he felt in the scheme of things and been comforted by him. Frerin always told him he wished he could be as good as him, even half.

If Kili were not his nephew he would wonder if his brother had been reborn in the other dwarf. It was almost cruel to think it, to want it, but he does. A soft sigh leaves him as he turns his head to press his forehead against Kili's, eyes closing.]

Thank you, lad. You need not worry though-

[And he'll smile sadly.]

You are of Durin's line, you are destined for greatness.

[Kili huffs out a laugh, his arms winding around his uncle's neck loosely. He presses his forehead lightly against Thorin's but keeps his eyes closed, watching him with bright brown eyes and an almost blissful smile.

He does so love his uncle.]

I don't need to be great, Thorin. There's enough of that in this family, between you and Mum and Fili.

[He leans in a little, pressing chapped lips to a scruffy cheek.] I'm so glad we're together.

[He'll tense at the kiss to his cheek, and it would be so easy to just turn his head slightly and kiss him back. Properly. Thorin can't believe he even thinks it, Kili is not Frerin, no matter how much he damn reminds him of him.

Kili is wonderful all on his own, a good lad and skilled even at his age, even with his naivety of the world. Thorin is undoubtedly glad to have him here as well. Work away from home could get, and did usually, very lonely. Arms hug the younger dwarf tight and he'll not want to let go.]

You are much better company than the pony.

[He means he loves you and he's glad you're here too, Kili.]