(no subject)

[durincest]

[Traveling alone was much harder than Kili had anticipated.

He'd packed everything he'd needed in the dead of night, so perhaps a lot of the trouble was there. Things with Fili weren't...going well, and he just needed to go. Maybe some time apart would help, and Kili was anxious to prove himself anyway.

It takes longer than he'd expected to find Thorin. He'd known at least where his uncle was headed, having maybe listened in on a conversation Thorin had with Dis. But the first village he found was devoid of any familiar dwarves, though he did find someone who pointed him in the right direction.

By the time he staggers into the right town, he's tired and hungry and footsore. Men make him nervous, and he eyes them uneasily, one hand tight around his sword hilt as he wandered through the village.

It's luck that takes him past the forge, and his eyes seek out a familiar face, searching, until finally he catches sight of Thorin, beating hot metal into place.]

Thorin! [Heedless now of his blistered feet and exhaustion, a smile splits the young dwarf's face and he dashes to greet him.]

Comments

[kinginexile]

[And that is precisely why Kili is with Thorin right now. He hears and thinks things that aren't exactly what they are. Silly dwarf.]

You don't think, but how can you truly know this if you are so far apart, hm?

[He'll just give him a bit of a look, moving back off the bed. Sighing, he'll give a gentle muse of Kili's hair and looks at breakfast longingly. He needs to get to work, he'll come back later for a lunch break.]

We can speak more on this later, eat and rest, Kili.

[durincest]

[Kili sighs. Maybe Thorin's right.

Maybe.

He's not quite ready to be alone yet but he knows he can't delay his uncle any further. So he gives him a short nod and a slightly frightened glance.]

I will...be here, Uncle.

[kinginexile]

[He leaves Kili with a apologetic look, but he has to go work. Kili will be fine here, no one will bother him and he has food if he gets hungry. He'll be back soon enough as it is once lunch rolls around.

When he does come back, he's filthy and looking a bit put out, tossing his things into the corner of the room... sorry if you were sleeping, Kili! He sets about lighting the fire and plops into a chair that is over sized for him, but no matter. He just needs to simmer a bit. He'll be muttering something about foolish sons of men not letting him work and what not.]

[durincest]

[Kili won't say he was sleeping, not exactly, though he was certainly dozing. Propped against the edge of the bed, head drooping against his chest, there's a half-finished letter in his lap and ink stained across his cheek.

He starts when Thorin enters, blinking up sleepily at him. He can tell immediately that his uncle's in a dark mood, the kind that usually indicated Kili find some reason to get out of the house.]

...Thorin?

[kinginexile]

[If anger and brooding could physically manifest, there would be a cloud so dark over Thorin right now, lighting sparking from it. Thankfully Kili's inquisitive speaking of his name seems to shoo some of said anger away. Thorin will look up from his brooding and turn in the chair, looking back at Kili in bed.]

Ah, Kili... did I wake you?

[His tone speaks of his apologies if he did.]

[durincest]

It's alright.

[He glances down at the half-finished letter to Fili in his lap and sighs, setting it aside.]

Is something wrong?

[kinginexile]

[He does note the letter, but will not ask about it. Clearly Kili is already making steps to hopefully fix things with his brother, he won't pressure him or make him feel uneasy about it if he can. Sitting back properly in his over sized human seat, Thorin stares into the fire sounding tired. He'd been arguing with the smithy for hours now until they finally just told him to go back to the inn and cool down.

Which he did before he really lost his temper.]

We will not be working the forge, not for some time.

[It's downright insulting too, the reason behind it. It boils his blood.]

They have gotten work from a wealthy investor of the forge, but they are not fond of dwarves. They requested that no hands of dwarven kind put their hand into this job.

[Stupid human. Thorin had never fond much reason to dislike humans, they had generally been good to them for the most part, but this one would get all his ire.]

I am sorry, lad. We will stay here for a few nights more, but we must return to the mountains soon. This work will not be done for much time, unless you would travel with me to another city.

[durincest]

What?

[Kili surges to his feet. It is insulting, and even he understands that with his limited knowledge of the world. He had begun to think that perhaps Men were not so bad, at least not until now.]

But our work is ten times better than men, if not more! And you said you've worked here before, they can attest to the quality of your work!

[kinginexile]

[He could be proud of Kili getting just as indignant as him, he really could be. Thorin had said the same thing to the men he'd been working with, they had agreed with him, but...]

Aye and they would, but coin is what counts, not what is right.

[Thorin sighs, standing from his chair and he'll round it to stand before his nephew, a dirty hand rests on Kili's shoulder and he's so glad he's here. If he'd not been he may have raged and destroyed the room in his anger, but together they could weather through this.]

Coin is what will help them and this son of man that does not wish for my work has plenty of it. I cannot get in the way of that. [For he understood sacrificing things to make ends meet for those you loved. For your family. Insulting as it was, he wouldn't ruin things for these humans who had time and again let him work in their forge to make his own ends meet, but it would leave a sour taste in his mouth for a while.]

[durincest]

Then he is a fool for rejecting our work.

[Kili's first real taste of the injustice of reality rankles him, and he leans into his uncle for comfort.]

Is this really what the world is like? [His voice is soft.] Does right and wrong mean nothing in the face of proper coin, Uncle?

[kinginexile]

Of that I will not disagree.

[Still, Thorin had gotten some work in before the shoe had dropped. The humans had paid him for it as well, for they quite liked the dwarf and his work and felt poorly for having to turn him away this time.

Thorin will rest his chin atop Kili's head, sighing, arms lightly hugging the younger dwarf.]

Sometimes, but not always. Living as we do in the mountains we cannot afford to not make coin for things we need. [Most of their agriculture was traded from the outside, from human villages, much like in the time of Erebor and Dale. Hard to grow a lot of things inside a mountain after all. Of course there were other things, but coin and trade was a necessary evil, and good as well, for them.]

... let me get cleaned up, then we can have our midday meal.

[Thorin murmurs into Kili's hair, but he won't pull away until Kili is ready to relinquish his uncle. Honestly he's just tired of so many years of this and he's never really let his nephews see it if he could, but having Kili here right now is the best thing that could happen. He'd not realized just how much it helped to have someone else around when things got rough. At least it had been a long time since he'd allowed it.]

[durincest]

It doesn't seem to matter so much at home. [Kili sighs into Thorin's chest. Life in the mountains was not easy, but they had always managed to get by. There's many a time that Kili can remember some poor starving dwarf asking Dis if she had anything to spare, and his mother would always, always, oblige. It was just the right thing to do. Why didn't the real world work that way too?

Kili nods after a moment and pulls back, letting Thorin go wash up and returning to his letter. He frowns, staring at his messy runes. He's not nearly as good at his penmanship as Fili, but at least his brother has always been able to read his chickenscratch.

He crosses out an "I miss you" as that sentiment seems to be expressed several times in the letter and sighs.]

[kinginexile]

[Oh, Kili, you sweet summer child. Thorin will just pat Kili's shoulder, not sure what to tell him. Perhaps in their want to protect Kili and Fili they'd sheltered them too much. The real world worked in many ways, young dwarves only saw part of it.

Going to wash up, Thorin works all the grime of the forge from his skin and hair as he won't be seeing it for a bit, may as well be sure he's rid of it then. Coming back with damp mused hair and in only his pants, he'll take a seat at the edge of the bed, glancing over at what Kili is writing.]

I sent that letter to you brother and mother before work today. They should get it within the week, hopefully.

[durincest]

[Kili hasn't gotten much done since Thorin left to wash up. The words on the page seem lifeless and faked. Fili won't buy any of it and he sighs.

He looks up at Thorin, scrubbing a hand over his face.]

...Yeah. Good.

[kinginexile]

Speak, Kili. What is on your mind?

[He's still troubled. Things with Fili no doubt, now this nonsense with the humans probably didn't help at all.]

[durincest]

[Kili sighs and crumples up the letter, tossing it across the room. His messy handwriting along with the empty words don't make him feel any better.]

...It doesn't matter. He wouldn't be able to read my handwriting anyway.

[kinginexile]

[Thorin frowns, watching the bit of crumpled paper as it's tossed into a corner of the room.]

Penmanship aside, what did you wish to tell your brother?

[durincest]

...That's part of the problem. I don't know what to say. [Kili scrubs at his face.] I just miss him, Thorin. And I want things to go back the way they were before I knew he didn't want me.

[kinginexile]

From what you told me it does not seem as if he does not care for you, Kili. [Calling what Kili asked for unnatural was not saying he didn't want his brother, in any way shape or form. In the eyes of most it was unnatural, Thorin himself wasn't sure what to think honestly, but he doubted Fili would just push his brother away because of it.

They were close the both of them, always had been. They could get through anything. That much Thorin was sure of.]

So if he were here, this very moment, you would not know what to say. What if I were Fili?

[durincest]

[Kili just stares at his uncle blankly for a few moments.]

If you were...Fili? What would I say, you mean?

[Thorin has he not made it clear he has no idea what he would say?]

[kinginexile]

[He'll nod. Okay yes, he should have clarified that a bit better.]

Mm, what would you say?

[durincest]

Um...

[He looks down, twisting his hands in his lap.]

I'm sorry.

[kinginexile]

Kili, look at me. Do not be ashamed, speak to me.

[He's no Fili, but he wants Kili to understand that he shouldn't be afraid of talking to his brother. That will only make things worse. Thorin brings a hand up, resting it on the side of Kili's neck, moving around to carefully grasp the back of it. It's meant to be a connection between them, to be reassuring.]

It's fine to be sorry, but you must be sorry and work forward from that. Do not linger too much or nothing will be solved.

[durincest]

[Kili reluctantly looks up, trying not to meet Thorin's eyes. Pretending he's Fili doesn't make it any better.]

I don't know how to change how I feel. I don't know if I want to.

[kinginexile]

I did not say to change anything, only to do more than apologizing and doing nothing else.

[Thorin's not entirely encouraging Kili's feelings for his brother, but he's not telling him it's wrong either. He's not sure that's his place to do so. Really in the long run it made sense that Kili would feel so strongly for Fili, still it was hard to swallow regardless.]