(no subject)

[durincest]

[Traveling alone was much harder than Kili had anticipated.

He'd packed everything he'd needed in the dead of night, so perhaps a lot of the trouble was there. Things with Fili weren't...going well, and he just needed to go. Maybe some time apart would help, and Kili was anxious to prove himself anyway.

It takes longer than he'd expected to find Thorin. He'd known at least where his uncle was headed, having maybe listened in on a conversation Thorin had with Dis. But the first village he found was devoid of any familiar dwarves, though he did find someone who pointed him in the right direction.

By the time he staggers into the right town, he's tired and hungry and footsore. Men make him nervous, and he eyes them uneasily, one hand tight around his sword hilt as he wandered through the village.

It's luck that takes him past the forge, and his eyes seek out a familiar face, searching, until finally he catches sight of Thorin, beating hot metal into place.]

Thorin! [Heedless now of his blistered feet and exhaustion, a smile splits the young dwarf's face and he dashes to greet him.]

Comments

[kinginexile]

You are still young, there is much of the world you will learn about. Some day. If not learn from myself, you will learn from many others.

[Like Dwalin, Balin and of course his mother. Though Kili had already learned much from all of them, yet there was always more to be learned. Even Thorin himself would not deny even he learned more as he grew older.]

But come, I will see about breakfast. Stay here, lad.

[Thorin will get up, heading out and down to get them something to eat. A good days work couldn't start without food! He'll soon come up with a tray, two plates loaded as full as he could get them and fresh milk. Coming to sit on the edge of the bed, Thorin will set the tray down and be more than happy to enjoy his meal with his nephew.]

[durincest]

[It's an enormous breakfast, and Kili's eyes are wide. He's never seen such a large meal to start the day with! Of course, most of the food that he and his family eats are what he and Fili hunt.

A pang of homesickness hits him at the thought, and he worries abruptly if they're eating enough at home.

Stupid. Of course they are. Fili's a great hunter. But now Kili's appetite is a bit dulled, and he picks at his own tray.]

You're going to end up spending all you make on me, Uncle.

[kinginexile]

[He notes that Kili is barely eating and nudges him gently.]

Mm, you assume I make little then. Besides, the food comes along with the fee for the room, do not fret about it.

[Thorin was doing very well here. He'd helped the blacksmiths of the village catch up on back orders and get a head start on others. They were very pleased to pay him well for his work, especially for the quality of it.]

Worry more about eating, you've barely touched your plate.

[durincest]

[Kili sighs, picking at his food.]

I'm worried about Fili and Mum. What if they aren't eating enough? I don't want to just...I don't know.

[He leans back against the wall.] Thorin, if I told you a secret, you would keep it, wouldn't you?

[kinginexile]

Your mother knows she is welcome to the stores of food I have, as well as asking for help from Dwalin or Balin. Fili and her will not starve.

[Not that he doubted Fili could keep them both fed, he knew the boy could. Thorin will pause in his eating to give a curious look to his nephew, wiping at his face with the back of his sleeve.]

That depends on the secret, but you know you can confide in me no matter what, Kili.

[durincest]

[It's a stupid thought, he knows that. He just can't help himself. He wants to go home but he's afraid to face Fili again.]

Even if it's something that might be... [What was the word Fili had used...] unnatural?

[kinginexile]

[He's not sure what Kili is getting at, but it's obvious the boy is nervous to speak of it. Hesitant to even speak of it with Thorin. This doesn't bode well this much Thorin is sure of.]

I cannot tell unless you speak of it. Come, what troubles you?

[durincest]

[Kili looks down, toying with a too large sleeve borrowed from his uncle.]

I...told you Fili and I got in a fight. And that's sort of true.

[Kili takes a deep breath, and it all comes out in a rush.]

I-asked-Fili-to-bed-me.

[kinginexile]

[He's listening, chewing a bit of a nice sausage when Kili surprises him. It's not what he expected at all. Not in the slightest.

Then again he's not sure what he expected his nephew to say. Not this, that's for sure. Thorin swallows down his food thickly, blinking rapidly as he takes in what's been said.]

...

[He stares wide eyed at his nephew, unsure if he'd heard right. What does one say to that?]

He... he is your brother, Kili.

[Thorin starts, still lost on proper words.]

[durincest]

[Kili chances a glance at Thorin before wincing and looking down at his knees again.

No, this isn't going well. He's not sure why he hoped it would. Somehow he expected Thorin to understand.]

Forget it, Uncle. I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said...

[He takes a shaky breath, twisting the fabric beneath his fingers more urgently.]

[kinginexile]

[He can see how his words aren't right, how Kili instantly shuts down. He's still trying to grasp what has been told to him, but he doesn't want Kili to hole up inside himself now. Moving their food aside to the night stand, Thorin will move more onto the bed and sit closer to his nephew, watching him twist his sleeve as his nerves are frayed more and more.]

No... no I am pleased you would come to me, Kili. I just... what did Fili say? You said you argued, he did not take it well then?

[He's trying, Kili, this isn't exactly anything he ever dreamed he'd have to deal with.]

[durincest]

[Kili bites his lip, eyes flickering back up to Thorin's briefly.

So far Thorin hasn't threatened to separate them forever. That has to be a good sign, right?]

He...said...he couldn't take me to bed and stay my brother. And that it was unnatural, and that I couldn't tell anyone or...or we would never get to see each other again.

[He mumbles it to his knees, clearly afraid of how Thorin will respond to all of this.

He doesn't understand why everyone finds it so shocking. He'd always believed that he and Fili had something more special than other brothers did. He had never doubted Fili loved him as much or in the same way as Kili felt towards him. But one brief conversation turned everything upside down, and now he's just confused and lost.]

[kinginexile]

[Kili and Fili had always been very close, more so when their father passed away. Though they had both been so young that no one could really tell just how much of an impact that death had had on them, Fili probably remembered him more than Kili did as it were.

Both boys had been glued to each other from the moment Kili was born just about. Fili had been so proud to have a baby brother, carrying him about when ever his mother allowed... probably dropped him a few times as well, but let's not get into that. Kili and Fili were close, always, when they were apart they seemed to be far less happy, like half of them was gone. Perhaps in a way it was not so strange to hear that their brotherly relationship had developed, or tried to, in this way.

Still, it was hard to take in even then.]

So then you ran away?

[Of course he had. Usually though Kili would run to Fili, but he couldn't do that now, could he?]

It is not for me to interfere with you two, but hiding from your brother will not make this better. I would not speak of this to anyone else, Kili, especially not your mother.

[durincest]

[Kili gives a short little nod at the question, still waiting for the other shoe to fall.

But then Thorin promises not to tell his mother without even being prompted to, and Kili is, for one moment, elated.]

Thank you, Thorin!

[He wraps his arms tightly around his uncle's neck and clings there for a bit before looking back up at him.] I'm not..trying to hide. I just started to think maybe Fili would be better off without me.

[kinginexile]

[He'd meant for Kili not to bring this up to his mother, but well... he won't talk to her about it. Not yet at least. It's not his place and he would rather Kili and Fili work things out first, before any shoes are dropped.]

Do not be foolish.

[He'll give a small hug back, rubbing the younger dwarf's back before he's pulling away some. His words hit him hard and Thorin will frown some.]

You are family, brothers, do not let this come between you. You both need one another now more than ever. [He's lost his brother, he would hate to see them lose one another, in any sense.]

[durincest]

[Look, Kili hears what he wants to hear. And he heard Thorin say he wouldn't tell Dis.

He's relieved for a moment or two, but then his thoughts go back to Fili and his heart aches for his brother.]

I don't think that's true, Thorin. [His voice is sad.] I need Fili, but I don't think he needs me.

[kinginexile]

[And that is precisely why Kili is with Thorin right now. He hears and thinks things that aren't exactly what they are. Silly dwarf.]

You don't think, but how can you truly know this if you are so far apart, hm?

[He'll just give him a bit of a look, moving back off the bed. Sighing, he'll give a gentle muse of Kili's hair and looks at breakfast longingly. He needs to get to work, he'll come back later for a lunch break.]

We can speak more on this later, eat and rest, Kili.

[durincest]

[Kili sighs. Maybe Thorin's right.

Maybe.

He's not quite ready to be alone yet but he knows he can't delay his uncle any further. So he gives him a short nod and a slightly frightened glance.]

I will...be here, Uncle.

[kinginexile]

[He leaves Kili with a apologetic look, but he has to go work. Kili will be fine here, no one will bother him and he has food if he gets hungry. He'll be back soon enough as it is once lunch rolls around.

When he does come back, he's filthy and looking a bit put out, tossing his things into the corner of the room... sorry if you were sleeping, Kili! He sets about lighting the fire and plops into a chair that is over sized for him, but no matter. He just needs to simmer a bit. He'll be muttering something about foolish sons of men not letting him work and what not.]

[durincest]

[Kili won't say he was sleeping, not exactly, though he was certainly dozing. Propped against the edge of the bed, head drooping against his chest, there's a half-finished letter in his lap and ink stained across his cheek.

He starts when Thorin enters, blinking up sleepily at him. He can tell immediately that his uncle's in a dark mood, the kind that usually indicated Kili find some reason to get out of the house.]

...Thorin?

[kinginexile]

[If anger and brooding could physically manifest, there would be a cloud so dark over Thorin right now, lighting sparking from it. Thankfully Kili's inquisitive speaking of his name seems to shoo some of said anger away. Thorin will look up from his brooding and turn in the chair, looking back at Kili in bed.]

Ah, Kili... did I wake you?

[His tone speaks of his apologies if he did.]

[durincest]

It's alright.

[He glances down at the half-finished letter to Fili in his lap and sighs, setting it aside.]

Is something wrong?

[kinginexile]

[He does note the letter, but will not ask about it. Clearly Kili is already making steps to hopefully fix things with his brother, he won't pressure him or make him feel uneasy about it if he can. Sitting back properly in his over sized human seat, Thorin stares into the fire sounding tired. He'd been arguing with the smithy for hours now until they finally just told him to go back to the inn and cool down.

Which he did before he really lost his temper.]

We will not be working the forge, not for some time.

[It's downright insulting too, the reason behind it. It boils his blood.]

They have gotten work from a wealthy investor of the forge, but they are not fond of dwarves. They requested that no hands of dwarven kind put their hand into this job.

[Stupid human. Thorin had never fond much reason to dislike humans, they had generally been good to them for the most part, but this one would get all his ire.]

I am sorry, lad. We will stay here for a few nights more, but we must return to the mountains soon. This work will not be done for much time, unless you would travel with me to another city.

[durincest]

What?

[Kili surges to his feet. It is insulting, and even he understands that with his limited knowledge of the world. He had begun to think that perhaps Men were not so bad, at least not until now.]

But our work is ten times better than men, if not more! And you said you've worked here before, they can attest to the quality of your work!

[kinginexile]

[He could be proud of Kili getting just as indignant as him, he really could be. Thorin had said the same thing to the men he'd been working with, they had agreed with him, but...]

Aye and they would, but coin is what counts, not what is right.

[Thorin sighs, standing from his chair and he'll round it to stand before his nephew, a dirty hand rests on Kili's shoulder and he's so glad he's here. If he'd not been he may have raged and destroyed the room in his anger, but together they could weather through this.]

Coin is what will help them and this son of man that does not wish for my work has plenty of it. I cannot get in the way of that. [For he understood sacrificing things to make ends meet for those you loved. For your family. Insulting as it was, he wouldn't ruin things for these humans who had time and again let him work in their forge to make his own ends meet, but it would leave a sour taste in his mouth for a while.]