(no subject)

[durincest]

[Traveling alone was much harder than Kili had anticipated.

He'd packed everything he'd needed in the dead of night, so perhaps a lot of the trouble was there. Things with Fili weren't...going well, and he just needed to go. Maybe some time apart would help, and Kili was anxious to prove himself anyway.

It takes longer than he'd expected to find Thorin. He'd known at least where his uncle was headed, having maybe listened in on a conversation Thorin had with Dis. But the first village he found was devoid of any familiar dwarves, though he did find someone who pointed him in the right direction.

By the time he staggers into the right town, he's tired and hungry and footsore. Men make him nervous, and he eyes them uneasily, one hand tight around his sword hilt as he wandered through the village.

It's luck that takes him past the forge, and his eyes seek out a familiar face, searching, until finally he catches sight of Thorin, beating hot metal into place.]

Thorin! [Heedless now of his blistered feet and exhaustion, a smile splits the young dwarf's face and he dashes to greet him.]

Comments

[durincest]

[It's just a natural sort of projection of how Kili sleeps. Poor Fili usually has to deal with it, and after years and years of it, he's gotten used to it. But Thorin, Kili doesn't usually sleep next to him, if only because he's not often home.

Kili stirs sleepily when Thorin nudges him, mumbling into his shoulder.]

Nnh...Fili, I'm sleeping...

[kinginexile]

[... yes, yes he can see that, Kili. He'll try again to move the dwarf off him, a bit more forcefully. Fingers ghost over Kili's side a bit, accidentally sort of tickling the younger dwarf.]

Oi, Kili, up.

[You can go back to sleep once you're off him. Thorin has to go to work boy!]

[durincest]

[Kili starts to giggle at the accidental tickling, his eyes fluttering open.

And for a minute...he's disappointed to see Thorin instead of Fili.]

Mmm. Sorry Uncle.

[He rolls off, stretching out.]

[kinginexile]

[It's almost tempting to actually tickle Kili, it was always good to hear the lads happy. The tickle monster had visited both boys back when they were young and he remembered tickling them so bad they had the hiccups. Not that they didn't get him back for it later.

Having uncle Thorin be their pony and using his braids as reigns, yep.]

Sleep well did you?

[Thorin sits up, but ruffles Kili's sleepy bedhead fondly.]

[durincest]

[He gives Thorin a little smile, but he can't shake that heartsick longing he has for his brother. For one glorious moment, he'd forgotten everything. He'd thought he was safe, curled up against his brother, loved and wanted.

Kili is an open book and his pain reads in his eyes.]

...Yeah. Better than on the road.

[kinginexile]

[It does seem as though the line of Durin is terrible at hiding their emotions. Thorin knows the look of pain and sorrow in his nephew's eyes and contemplates asking him about it or if he should just leave it be.]

You've not traveled much, perhaps with time you shall get used to it.

[Thorin had done so much traveling in his time that the ground or a proper bed mattered not as long as he had furs to cover himself with to sleep. Even that wasn't needed most of the time. He'd slept in so many places now, when he could sleep that is, that a proper bed was probably more strange than the ground.]

But you can rest here for the day, your feet will thank you tomorrow when you work along side me. [For now he'll leave whatever is bothering Kili. No doubt his fight with his brother. They did not do well when separated from one another.]

[durincest]

I hope I don't have to.

[He yawns, snuggling a bit into Thorin's side.

At that comment though, he brings his feet up to his chest, poking at one of the blisters and wincing a bit.]

Do you have to go?

[kinginexile]

[Thorin looks sad for a moment.]

I hope you do not as well.

[He's tried his best to make sure the lads had a life that was comfortable, carefree, where they had nothing to worry about and could just enjoy their lives and kin. He never wanted them to have to live the life he'd had for so many years after Erebor.

At the question of if he had to go, Thorin smiles sadly down at Kili.]

There is work to be done. The men here are kind, they will not treat you poorly if you wander about the inn.

[durincest]

[He's a little confused at Thorin's sadness. He lets out a sigh, slim fingers curling into his uncle's front.

He doesn't want to be alone. Not at all. He feels only marginally more comfortable around men than he did before, though they still make him a bit nervous. And even if they didn't...they aren't his kin. They're not his mother, or his brother, or his uncle.]

You promise you'll let me work with you tomorrow?

[kinginexile]

[Kili is not a child any longer, but old habits die hard when it comes to how he treats the young dwarf. A hand rubs along Kili's back to reassure him, if but a little. He knows Kili has very limited experience with any race outside of their own. There were humans once in a while in the blue mountains, for trade, but they were not often and usually Thorin and a few others dealt with them exclusively.

Being in a whole city of men, out numbered by them, must be quite difficult for his nephew to take in.]

I promise. Though you must rest if you are to work along side me in the morrow, Kili. Do not put too much stress on yourself as, believe me, I will be sure to work you hard in the forge. [No easy playtime here, Kili. This was serious business. The work they did here would help create new trade with between this city and their home, it would also create some coin for Thorin to bring back once he completed his time here.

All in all, it was important to not toy around. They could do that back in the blue mountains.]

[durincest]

[Kili will be grateful for the distraction, honestly. He can't wait to get to work and he's annoyed that his feet are holding him back.

He doesn't want to think about Fili or home anymore. He's here with Thorin.]

I look forward to it, Thorin. I still have a lot to learn from you, I think.

[kinginexile]

You are still young, there is much of the world you will learn about. Some day. If not learn from myself, you will learn from many others.

[Like Dwalin, Balin and of course his mother. Though Kili had already learned much from all of them, yet there was always more to be learned. Even Thorin himself would not deny even he learned more as he grew older.]

But come, I will see about breakfast. Stay here, lad.

[Thorin will get up, heading out and down to get them something to eat. A good days work couldn't start without food! He'll soon come up with a tray, two plates loaded as full as he could get them and fresh milk. Coming to sit on the edge of the bed, Thorin will set the tray down and be more than happy to enjoy his meal with his nephew.]

[durincest]

[It's an enormous breakfast, and Kili's eyes are wide. He's never seen such a large meal to start the day with! Of course, most of the food that he and his family eats are what he and Fili hunt.

A pang of homesickness hits him at the thought, and he worries abruptly if they're eating enough at home.

Stupid. Of course they are. Fili's a great hunter. But now Kili's appetite is a bit dulled, and he picks at his own tray.]

You're going to end up spending all you make on me, Uncle.

[kinginexile]

[He notes that Kili is barely eating and nudges him gently.]

Mm, you assume I make little then. Besides, the food comes along with the fee for the room, do not fret about it.

[Thorin was doing very well here. He'd helped the blacksmiths of the village catch up on back orders and get a head start on others. They were very pleased to pay him well for his work, especially for the quality of it.]

Worry more about eating, you've barely touched your plate.

[durincest]

[Kili sighs, picking at his food.]

I'm worried about Fili and Mum. What if they aren't eating enough? I don't want to just...I don't know.

[He leans back against the wall.] Thorin, if I told you a secret, you would keep it, wouldn't you?

[kinginexile]

Your mother knows she is welcome to the stores of food I have, as well as asking for help from Dwalin or Balin. Fili and her will not starve.

[Not that he doubted Fili could keep them both fed, he knew the boy could. Thorin will pause in his eating to give a curious look to his nephew, wiping at his face with the back of his sleeve.]

That depends on the secret, but you know you can confide in me no matter what, Kili.

[durincest]

[It's a stupid thought, he knows that. He just can't help himself. He wants to go home but he's afraid to face Fili again.]

Even if it's something that might be... [What was the word Fili had used...] unnatural?

[kinginexile]

[He's not sure what Kili is getting at, but it's obvious the boy is nervous to speak of it. Hesitant to even speak of it with Thorin. This doesn't bode well this much Thorin is sure of.]

I cannot tell unless you speak of it. Come, what troubles you?

[durincest]

[Kili looks down, toying with a too large sleeve borrowed from his uncle.]

I...told you Fili and I got in a fight. And that's sort of true.

[Kili takes a deep breath, and it all comes out in a rush.]

I-asked-Fili-to-bed-me.

[kinginexile]

[He's listening, chewing a bit of a nice sausage when Kili surprises him. It's not what he expected at all. Not in the slightest.

Then again he's not sure what he expected his nephew to say. Not this, that's for sure. Thorin swallows down his food thickly, blinking rapidly as he takes in what's been said.]

...

[He stares wide eyed at his nephew, unsure if he'd heard right. What does one say to that?]

He... he is your brother, Kili.

[Thorin starts, still lost on proper words.]

[durincest]

[Kili chances a glance at Thorin before wincing and looking down at his knees again.

No, this isn't going well. He's not sure why he hoped it would. Somehow he expected Thorin to understand.]

Forget it, Uncle. I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said...

[He takes a shaky breath, twisting the fabric beneath his fingers more urgently.]

[kinginexile]

[He can see how his words aren't right, how Kili instantly shuts down. He's still trying to grasp what has been told to him, but he doesn't want Kili to hole up inside himself now. Moving their food aside to the night stand, Thorin will move more onto the bed and sit closer to his nephew, watching him twist his sleeve as his nerves are frayed more and more.]

No... no I am pleased you would come to me, Kili. I just... what did Fili say? You said you argued, he did not take it well then?

[He's trying, Kili, this isn't exactly anything he ever dreamed he'd have to deal with.]

[durincest]

[Kili bites his lip, eyes flickering back up to Thorin's briefly.

So far Thorin hasn't threatened to separate them forever. That has to be a good sign, right?]

He...said...he couldn't take me to bed and stay my brother. And that it was unnatural, and that I couldn't tell anyone or...or we would never get to see each other again.

[He mumbles it to his knees, clearly afraid of how Thorin will respond to all of this.

He doesn't understand why everyone finds it so shocking. He'd always believed that he and Fili had something more special than other brothers did. He had never doubted Fili loved him as much or in the same way as Kili felt towards him. But one brief conversation turned everything upside down, and now he's just confused and lost.]

[kinginexile]

[Kili and Fili had always been very close, more so when their father passed away. Though they had both been so young that no one could really tell just how much of an impact that death had had on them, Fili probably remembered him more than Kili did as it were.

Both boys had been glued to each other from the moment Kili was born just about. Fili had been so proud to have a baby brother, carrying him about when ever his mother allowed... probably dropped him a few times as well, but let's not get into that. Kili and Fili were close, always, when they were apart they seemed to be far less happy, like half of them was gone. Perhaps in a way it was not so strange to hear that their brotherly relationship had developed, or tried to, in this way.

Still, it was hard to take in even then.]

So then you ran away?

[Of course he had. Usually though Kili would run to Fili, but he couldn't do that now, could he?]

It is not for me to interfere with you two, but hiding from your brother will not make this better. I would not speak of this to anyone else, Kili, especially not your mother.

[durincest]

[Kili gives a short little nod at the question, still waiting for the other shoe to fall.

But then Thorin promises not to tell his mother without even being prompted to, and Kili is, for one moment, elated.]

Thank you, Thorin!

[He wraps his arms tightly around his uncle's neck and clings there for a bit before looking back up at him.] I'm not..trying to hide. I just started to think maybe Fili would be better off without me.